what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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