Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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