i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it wasn't lemon gatorade
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
