If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize