It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
