I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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