I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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