i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
