Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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