I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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