I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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