just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
