I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
