We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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