I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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