Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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