I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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