Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
