i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
