You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
