I look better un-naked...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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