Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
