If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
