do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
