turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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