You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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