I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
