I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize