ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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