The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize