did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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