I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize