I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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