Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
