Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
