Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
