my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
