Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
