I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
