Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
did i just pee glitter
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
