3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
