did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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