Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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