just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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