Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize