i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
