I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize