Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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