I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
