I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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