The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
