it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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