So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
