I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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