OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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