i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
