I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
