brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
