someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize