We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
