so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
