I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
