My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
