Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
