You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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