I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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