Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
