it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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