Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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