morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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