Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
