Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
